Mommy, Mama, MOMMY!

Mommy. Mommy. Mommy, Mommy. Mama. Mama. Mommy, Mama. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy. Mama. Mommmmmy. Mommmmmmmmmy. Mama. Mama. Mommy, Mommy. Mommy, Mama, MOMMY, MOMMY, Mommy, Mommy. Mama. Mommy. Mommmmmy. Mommy!! Mommy! Mommy. Mama. Mama. Mommy. Mama. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy, Mommy, Mommy. Mommy. Mama. Mama. Mommy, Mama. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy. MOMMY, Mama. Mommmmmy. Mommmmmmmmmy. Mama. Mama. Mommy, Mommy. Mommy, Mama, Mommy, Mommy. Mama. Mommy. Mommmmmy. Mommy!! Mommy! Mommy. Mama. Mama. Mommy. Mama. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy, Mommy, Mommy. Mommy.

For all you moms out there without children who are talking... I know you are anxiously waiting for your little one to utter 'Mama' for the first time. And it will, then, sound so sweet. It will be a moment, a moment you remember for the rest of your life. It might even bring tears to your eyes.  It can be tough waiting for this special moment but you see,  kids are delayed in their understanding and interpreting of your heart's desire.

You yearn for it so bad and they do nothing, for what seems like forever. But, Alas! They say it! They say "Mama". What a beautiful moment, milestone and memory!!  But then.... one day they internally get all of your longed passed desires at once and they then, spend the rest of their lives making up for the short period of their lives when they couldn't appease you with your biggest heart's desire- to hear the word Mommy. And they say it forever. Over and over. Forever. All day. Every day. For everything. For the rest of your life.

So... be careful what you wish for, Mommy.

Hold on, I think I hear something....

"Mommy. Mommy. Mommy, Mommy. Mama. Mama. Mommy, Mama. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy, Mommy, MOMMY Mommy, Mommy, Mommy. Mama. Mommmmmy. Mommmmmmmmmy. Mama. Mama. Mommy, Mommy. Mommy, Mama, Mommy, Mommy. Mama. Mommy. Mommmmmy. Mommy!! Mommy! Mommy. Mama. Mama. Mommy. Mama. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy, Mommy, Mommy. Mommy. Mama. Mama. Mommy, Mama. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy. Mama. Mommmmmy.MOMMY, Mommmmmmmmmy. Mama. Mama. Mommy, Mommy. Mommy, Mama, Mommy, Mommy. Mama. Mommy. Mommmmmy. Mommy!! Mommy! Mommy. Mama. Mama. Mommy. Mama. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy, Mommy, Mommy. Mommy."

Want to save Money and Lose weight?!?!?

There are SOOOOO many diet/health/natural/bullshit ways to "get in-shape, save money and lose weight!!"

I know, I have given these people a hard time for insistently using social media to sell their product and/or ideas but now I see the light... I too have figured out the best way to loose weight and get money!

Here you go, it is only a 1 Step Process:

1. Stop buying as much food.

Once you start buying less food, you will save money. And because you have bought less food you will eat less food and lose weight.  And there you go. Please mail me a $20 check for my advice.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I mean, I am not kidding that it will work because it will, but you already know that it would work. It's just very hard to do.  That is why I will share with you the REAL secret to easily losing weight.... are you ready? Are you sure you can handle this mind blowing tip?!?!?!?? Okay.... here it goes:

vodka.

It is simple: Drink red wine? Switch to vodka. Drink Beer? Switch to vodka.  Drink Mike's Hard Lemonade? Go away. Drink Margaritas? Switch to vodka. Eat oatmeal in the morning? Mix it with Vodka.

Make Vodka your go to and I promise you will see weight loss results. You might also lose your job, friends and family. But who cares!! You'll be thinner! I mean, that is all that matters in the world.

In vodka we trust.