Friday, November 8, 2013

Life Before Kids

My favorite parenting question is: "Ohhhhh, do you even remember life before kids?"


Fuck yes.

Very fondly.

Who are these people kidding? They are going to sit there and tell me that they don't remember the days when they talked to their partner about something other than whether the baby shit today or not?  And speaking of shit, they can't remember when they use to be able to take a shit alone? That they can't remember sleeping in and eating lunch in bed? They can't remember a random mid-afternoon make-out session on a lazy Sunday? Or when they actually got to go out and eat sushi and not just talk about eating sushi?

After 3 1/2 years of pondering this stupid question I have come to the conclusion that these people- the "I don't remember life before kids" people never a had a life to begin with and that is why they can't remember it. I, for one, had a life. A great one. I remember going over to my girlfriend's house weekly and drinking the BIG bottles of wine. I remember meeting our friends for happy hour. I remember not having to run to the grocery store at night because we are out of milk. I remember shopping all day Saturday. I remember being able to work late with no guilt.  And, I remember when my stomach didn't look like a feral cat boxing match happened on it. Oh, I remember...

I love my kids and my new life. With that said, having kids didn't cause brain damage resulting in a memory lapse of my kid-free life. Get real, people. Life can be good then and long as there are still BIG bottles of wine to be had.

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